i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
