Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
