Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize