Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
