i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
