I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
