I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
