you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he puts the penis in happiness.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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