Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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