I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize