Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
