Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
