I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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