He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
