She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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