im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize