i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
