wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize