Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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