talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
