I hate all girls vehemently.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
