Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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