Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
