my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
