Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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