I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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