Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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