I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
