fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize