We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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