Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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