oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
