when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
