I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this boner is exhausting
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
