Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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