I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
