Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize