Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
