It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
