i don't like sucking hair
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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