dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
17 year olds will be the death of me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
