I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
