I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
