last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
