I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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