Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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