So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
