there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
