I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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