He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
