just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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