they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
