I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
