Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
