I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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