Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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