So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
