well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
