She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
