but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
